10 reasons to love DIABLO CODY

For those of you who don't know who Diablo Cody is - well, you're a fuckwad. She's deadly with her wit - even better with her writing. She's the storyteller behind "JUNO," which came out yesterday in NYC and L.A. She also penned "Candy Girl - A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper."


I'm going to state reasons 10 reasons why DIABLO CODY is the shit.

1.) She's a writer. I'm a writer. We're both probably eccentric. And that name. It's just hot. My name is Daniel Harris Baer - so lame - Fuckin' Jewish parents.
2.) She has a tattoo. Chicks with tattoos are hot. I wanted to get one - but I'm Jewish. Poor me.
3.) She has beautiful eyes.
4.) She started off as a blogger - and now she's blowing up. That is a huge middle finger to the FOOTBALL JOCK who made fun of people using the Internet in High School. How's flipping burgers you steroid fuck?
5.) She's a good type of feminism. Not the man hating, rip your dick off kind.
6.) She isn't pretentious.
7.) She was a stripper. But not the fake-looking type. And it was something she didn't just aspire to do. It was like my aspirations to work in a Porn shop.
8.) She has the face of a 1940's type Starlet.
9.) She uses words like porksword. I use words like cumdumpster. Either way, both articulate forms of the two.
10.) Writer's are the freakiest types of people. We ain't no suits in the sack. Once you go writer - you ain't never going back.

Here is a clip of how to be witty.



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