Negativity equals Bliss

Why do so many people always bash someone for being negative? Have you ever wondered why being negative is so negative?

I think being negative is the new being positive.

Why in a world of so much shit - can we not just say that things aren't going well? People break up. Friends become enemies and, especially living in NYC, we go broke.

So after all of that - are we supposed to say something out of a "Leave it to Beaver" episode like - Sure Beav - everything will be just swell.

Not a chance.

I'll tell it like it is. I'll say - Fucking A' - shit is just so shitty. I'm a mother-fucking realist. I'm not negative. I just keep it real.

This world would be such a better place is people like your parents, your spouses, your teachers and most importantly, the PRESIDENT, just kept it real. I'd believe in Bush if he announced on national TV that the United States is in a shitty place right now and he'll try and make it better. I'd like for him to tell me that what's going on in Iraq was a mistake - he fucked up - but he'll try to clean up his mess. I'd like for him to tell me that the stock market being so unstable is a problem that revolves around a recession around the corner and he's not sure if they market will become stable. I'd like for him to tell me that the genocide going on in Sudan with Darfur is so unbearably bad - the UN isn't going to end up doing shit and these murderers will never get caught.

Harsh, yes. But at least I'll know the motherfucker is keeping it real.

I'm so sick of lies. I used to love to lie. I'd like about my dick size (I used to tell people it was fourteen inches long and that my Jewish roots are Ethiopian.) I'd lie about how talented I am (which you can clearly judge by my writing that I'm not.) And I'd lie about how poor I am (Any Gold-Diggin' hotties out there who like wannabe writers with black framed glasses - I'm rich bitch.)

But I saw how boring and pathetic it is to lie. I found out how boring it is to try and rationalize everything in this world by pretending to be happy twenty-four hours a day. I just decided that I would say things the way this average “Joe” sees them.

No need to impress here. What you see today is what you’ll see in two weeks.

It's okay to think things just aren't great. But, fucking say it. If I ask you how you're doing - tell me shitty. I just wish the world could take some of that advice - because we wouldn't be such a fucking paranoid place if the truth were just told - instead of everyone acting like his or her own spin-doctor.

By the way - if you ever have a chance - check out "Debbie Downer" from Saturday Night Live. Maybe the best skit ever - and most realistic.

Here is a skit from Debbie Downer. Enjoy.



Keep it real. Don't spin the truth. Fuck the optimism. We're all going down in this shit together, anyway.